Breaking Up Over Text Message

“Isn’t it totally cowardly to break up with someone in a letter?” YES, it is.

It might be the twenty-first century, the age of electronic communication, but email and text are no substitute for discussions that deserve a face-to-face. Here’s a few tips on how to respond if someone tries to break up with you via electronic device.

  1. Text them back “no” and see how they respond.
  2. Don’t respond and pretend you never got the text message. Act like nothing is wrong and give them a big hug next time you see them. Make sure to look deep in their eyes and tell them how much you love them.
  3. Take a screen shot of the message, post it to Facebook and tag them. You don’t want to be the crazy ex though, so make the photo private, so only the two of you can see it. They probably won’t notice that you made it private and will think that everyone can see it, so this is a good option to give them a good scare! Great way to “get back” at them for being a douche.
  4. Send them back a text that says “can we meet up for makeup sex one last time?” Make a plan to meet up, then don’t show up and post pictures of yourself on Facebook on a date with someone else.
  5. Text back “but, I’m pregnant.” Just for kicks. Obviously you’re not pregnant, but this will freak them out a little bit and give you some time to let them squirm uncomfortably. Don’t let this carry on too long… it’s not nice, send them a follow up text that says “jk!” Just leave it at that and move on.
REMEMBER: You’re giving them a hard time for breaking up with you over text message/email, not for breaking up with you. You deserve to be with someone who likes you just the way you are, even when you fart in your sleep, so don’t forget to move on gracefully after you get your revenge and spend your time finding your perfect mate! Have fun out there.
xo
-Team onenightfriendfree

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