If You’re Going to Cheat, Don’t Get Caught (like Ashton Kutcher)

We get complaints from angry lovers all the time that they think their significant other is cheating on them. We can’t, obviously, help them with their investigations as this would infringe on privacy laws. Besides, it’s none of our beeswax, honestly. However, we couldn’t help but notice that a lot of people are having problems not getting caught cheating, so here’s some advice if that includes you.

And next week stay tuned for tips on the flip side: “Are they cheating or are they just eating out a lot with pretty girls”

  1. Save your fling’s name under a fake name in your phone. Kitty is not only a kinky name, but she’s smoking hot too. If your girlfriend sees a name like that in your phone she’s bound to get suspicous. Save it under something more androgynous, like… Xavier!!
  2. Delete all sexy/flirty/kinky text messages from your phone as soon as you get them. If you don’t delete them right away you might forget and get caught, and that’s just stupid, don’t be dumb.
  3. Hang out with them in public. Rather than make your “friendship” a secret, use reverse psychology and hang out with all of your friends, and even your significant other. So totally effed up it’s HOT. But, this won’t work if the person you’re cheating with doesn’t know you’re in a relationshiop already, however, so use discretion.
  4. Do NOT add your fling on Facebook. If anything goes down they have the opportunity to put you on blast in front of all your friends. Do yourself a favor and block them before they stalk you.
  5. Use protection and take a shower before you hang out with your real boyfriend/girlfriend. There’s no reason to add insult to injury here, come on now.

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Jersey Shore’s Snooki is Newly Single!

Snooki thought her bf was using her to get some MTV fame of his own so she called him up and left him a voicemail that said “You’re nothing. You’re single.”

Since he’s officially “nothing” now that she’s gone. Which means if he makes it he’ll be a made man, working from the ground up, like a true American!

What do you think about the break up? Let us know on video chat and we’ll post your video chat session to the blog.

Kim Kardashian Newly Single

Kim Kardashian is single and she’s willing to date a non-celebrity!

Kardashian is of Armenian, Dutch and Scottish decent which is what gives her that exotic look that people go nuts over. She has modeled for playboy and currently represents clothing lines Bongo and Famous Stars and Stripes.

Until recently she was in a relationship with professional football player, Reggie Bush. Rumors have it she’s being courted by another athlete, Cristiano Ronaldo. Surely she’s not ready for another serious relationship this soon… maybe you’ll catch her on free hookup site, onenightfriendfree, trying to find hot non-celebrity soccer players. Other celebs, the Jonas Brothers, Ashton Kutcher, Paris Hilton and more, have already been spotted on various hookup sites, maybe Kim will give it a go as well.

Paris Hilton Single Again, Will She Try onenightfriendfree?

onenightfriendfree has hosted quite a few celebrities on the site including Tila Tequila, Carolina Liar and the Hills’ star, Stephanie Pratt.

So what would keep Paris Hilton from taking a twirl or two in our hookup sessions?

Hilton had been dating Doug Reinhardt for the past 14 months, but according to the New York Daily News she broke up with him and it doesn’t look like they’ll be reconciling. How do they know who broke up with who and whether or not they’ll be reconciling? Does Paris phone them and give them the play-by-play in exchange for remaining on the front page of the gossip columns?

Elin Takes Tiger Back

Elin was running to the divorce lawyers after the first mistress stepped forward and pulled the covers (again) on Tiger Woods.

As more and more girls came forward she seemed to become more and more resolved in her decision.

That was until Elin’s sister, Josefin, talked Elin out of making a decision that would haunt her and her children for the rest of her life. Josefin encouraged her sister to stay with Tiger and work on keeping the family together.

Obviously Tiger has some problems, that he’s seeking treatment for, and standing by his side might be the most stand up thing she could do. That’s what vows are for, after all.

What would you do if you were in either of their positions (tiger or elin)? Let us know on video.

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