If You’re Going to Cheat, Don’t Get Caught (like Ashton Kutcher)

We get complaints from angry lovers all the time that they think their significant other is cheating on them. We can’t, obviously, help them with their investigations as this would infringe on privacy laws. Besides, it’s none of our beeswax, honestly. However, we couldn’t help but notice that a lot of people are having problems not getting caught cheating, so here’s some advice if that includes you.

And next week stay tuned for tips on the flip side: “Are they cheating or are they just eating out a lot with pretty girls”

  1. Save your fling’s name under a fake name in your phone. Kitty is not only a kinky name, but she’s smoking hot too. If your girlfriend sees a name like that in your phone she’s bound to get suspicous. Save it under something more androgynous, like… Xavier!!
  2. Delete all sexy/flirty/kinky text messages from your phone as soon as you get them. If you don’t delete them right away you might forget and get caught, and that’s just stupid, don’t be dumb.
  3. Hang out with them in public. Rather than make your “friendship” a secret, use reverse psychology and hang out with all of your friends, and even your significant other. So totally effed up it’s HOT. But, this won’t work if the person you’re cheating with doesn’t know you’re in a relationshiop already, however, so use discretion.
  4. Do NOT add your fling on Facebook. If anything goes down they have the opportunity to put you on blast in front of all your friends. Do yourself a favor and block them before they stalk you.
  5. Use protection and take a shower before you hang out with your real boyfriend/girlfriend. There’s no reason to add insult to injury here, come on now.

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