When Dates Go Bad - Top 5 Best Exit Strategies
Meeting more people in a smaller amount of time means that you’re going to have to get good at bailing when the date starts to go sour. Here’s some tips from onenightfriendfree to help you skedaddle so you can rush home and respond to the plethora of other hotties waiting to hook up.
- Fake pulling a muscle. Give yourself a self massage for a few minutes then politely apologize for the (seemingly) excruciating pain you’re going through and limp feebly toward the exit. Remember, the more twisted your facial expression is the more uncomfortable your date will feel, making them wish you’d left a little bit sooner.
- Fake like you’re getting a call from your neighbor about your dog being sick. “Fido WHAT????…. oh no….. really?? … OMG… well, yes I….. Okay…. diarrhea??….” Take a mental snapshot of your date as you say the word “diarrhea” really loud and drawn out. Then, make a scene and rush out muttering something about how you’d never forgive yourself is something happened to the only best friend you’ve ever had in the world. If you play your cards right you can “accidentally” forget to pay as well, saving yourself a few bucks. I’d save this for someone who is already being a complete jerk, otherwise you’re just being kinda mean.
- Fake being sick. If you’re good at role playing this can come off as totally legit, and will leave your date feeling sorry for you. They may even pay for your cab ride home. A little manipulative, at least this technique won’t hurt their feelings. This is a good option if you want to try to keep them as a friend!
- Have a friend call you, faking an emergency. The bad thing about this option is that it is SO overplayed. Your date is likely to know that you’re taking the easy way out, and what’s the point of that if you’re trying to keep them from knowing that you’re bailing? You might as well just say “I’m not into you” and walk out.
- Flat out say “I’m not into you, at all,” and saunter out. There’s nothing like confidence to make you feel sexy and alive. Maybe you can pick up a member of the wait staff as you exit, just don’t let the door hit you on the way out.